Words To Live By

• Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
  and some days you're the statue.
  
  
• Always keep your words soft and sweet,
  just in case you have to eat them.
  
  
• Always read stuff that will make you look
  good if you die in the middle of it.
  
  
• Drive carefully. It's not only cars that
  can be recalled by their maker.
  
  
• Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing
  worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
  
  
• If you can't be kind, at least have the
  decency to be vague.
  
  
• If you lend someone $20, and never see
  that person again, it was probably worth it.
  
  
• It may be that your sole purpose in life
  is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  
  
• Never buy a car you can't push.
  
  
• Never put both feet in your mouth at the
  same time, because then you don't
  have a leg to stand on.
  
  
• Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
  Just get up and dance.
  
  
• The early worm gets eaten by the bird,
  so sleep late.
  
  
• When everything's coming your way,
  you're in the wrong lane.
  
  
• Birthdays are good for you; the more
  you have, the longer you live.
  
  
• Ever notice that the people who are late
  are often much jollier than the people
  who have to wait for them?
  
  
• If ignorance is bliss, why aren't
  more people happy?
  
  
• You may be only one person in the world,
  but you may also be the world to one person.
  
  
• Some mistakes are too much fun
  to only make once.
  
  
• Don't cry because it's over;
  smile because it happened.
  
  
• We could learn a lot from crayons:
  some are sharp, some are pretty, some
  are dull, some have weird names, and
  all are different colors but they all
  have to learn to live in the same box.
  
  
• A truly happy person is one who can
  enjoy the scenery on a detour.
  
  
• Happiness comes through doors you
  didn't even know you left open.
  
  
• Have an awesome day, and know that
  someone has thought about you today....